An Unplugged Look At: Metal Gear

"Its a movie about Batman trying to teach Obi-Wan Kenobi how to be a Jedi so they can stop Lex Luthor from taking over Iraq using goats... and somehow The Dude is involved"

-Me.

Have you ever tried to explain the plot of a movie to someone who has never watched it? have you tried to do that when you yourself haven't watched it either? well today I'm doing exactly that, but with a Video Game, I'm going to try to explain the plot of the Metal Gear games, a franchise i have never played for more than 15 minutes, as best as i can, but first i have to set some rules:

1. I cant play any game from the franchise during the process of writing this.
2. I can only use the internet to research names of characters and locations, not plot details.

Now, before we start i must remind you, this is MY version of the Metal Gear plot, so i'll probably get a lot of things wrong (try every single thing). So, without further ado, here is the Unplugged Controllers version of the plot of the Metal Gear series, here we go:

Gaming Moments: "F*CK YOU" Missile

THE SCENARIO:

The door opens, complete silence fills the room, a lone man stands in the middle, he turns around at the sound of the door opening to see Commander Daniel Shepard, he says:

-"So, it seems you are as capable as they say, those 100 soldiers you defeated on the way here were the best men our organization had."

As he speaks, his hand starts reaching for the sword on his back...

-"Still, they were just soldiers, unlike me and you Commander, we are not like them, we are stronger, faster, smarter..."

Grasping the sword, he slowly starts unsheathing it, the sound of the blade grazing against the scabbard is getting stronger... 

Because nothing says "intergalactic warfare" and "advanced alien technology" like a FREAKING KATANA.

-"We are superior in every sense Commander, we... are GODS!"

!!KABOOM!!

-"OW! IS THAT A ROCKET LAUNCHER?!?!"

U.C.Comic - 003 No Shirt, No Service, No Sanity Check

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Press A for a story - The Arcane Dinnerware Wizard

Okay, lets get this out of the way right now, i LOVE Role playing in video games, giving my character a story and a personality is one of the things i enjoy the most in games, which is why titles like Fallout 3 and Skyrim have stolen so many hours of my life, but the thing with Role playing is, there are sacrifices to be made, sure, the story is way more enjoyable when your character has a reason to do what he is doing, when you can say "Yep, this is what Commander Daniel Shepard would do!" while he bounces on a pogo stick with C4 strapped to his body, that's when you really get to enjoy the experience, but it also means that when a great opportunity presents itself, your character might not take it, be it because of his moral standards, or his tragic past, Commander Daniel Shepard might not shoot his enemy, even if it would make his life a lot easier, case and point, The Arcane Dinnerware Wizard.

"Dude, trust me, my character would totally do that because of.....uh...backstory?"

 

Roll 1d6 for a story - Dungeons and dragons, Mages and holes.

Recording #1402, date BA - NA - NA

The following is a recording from a Tabletop RPG session, viewer discretion is advised.

 

The scene: The main hall of the thieves guild, the party is trying to convince the lord of thieves to give them the heaven's eye (a magic Diamond).

DANIEL (DM; talking as the lord of thieves): "I must say i'm impressed, still, i find no reason to give away my most valuable possession"

DAVID (Archer, mildly annoyed): "look pal, this isnt about money, we need the gem to save the world, the world YOU happen to live in"

DANIEL (DM; annoying the party as the lord of thieves): "Oh, how typical of you adventurers; please, i'm no fool, the world is in no danger, and neither is my gem, in 50 years no thief has been able to breach my underground vault"

CRISTIAN (Fire Mage, gives a new meaning to friendly fire): "Wait... did you just say UNDERGROUND vault? like, UNDER the ground, THIS ground?"

Pyromancy: so many ways to ruin the DM's plans, so little time.

 

U.C.Comic - 002 Centaurs never look back... or up

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